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Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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Chun.YuI felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming? — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
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Chia MinGuo Ting HuiPing Ling Quan Sandy Sook Fui YunHui
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Friday, June 29, 2007
Have you ever heard of the words "weather friends"? O.o Well, I don't really believe in that but then again, someone just proved it to me that there are such people. =.= I really don't know what had gone wrong. Really don't understand. It's like so suddenly? If there's anything that you are not happy about, you can just tell me. Really. At least I know where I've done wrongly, right? =/ Really upset that things had turned out this way. We were still fine but all of a sudden, we were miles apart. HAIX. Is this really how the world is like, huh? Can anybody just tell me what's wrong?!?!?!?! It's like thank god!! Finally it's the end of the first week of school. And guess what? I feel like I've been going for school for a year? Hahas. I've had had enough of tests this week. =.= It's so exhuasting. At least we don't have to go to school on Monday. Because it's Youth Day!! =] I'm going to relax for today and continue to munch my books tomorrow. LOLs. I believe I can do it. I can!!! =] Just a few more months and I'm done! Wahahahas... The first thing I'm going to do after 'O' level is to throw away all my books. ^^ I'm going to wait for ZHU tomorrow at the library. This way, I'll be able to some of my work first. Yeah~ I've become hardworking. =D I'm thinking of chaning my blogskins. But I'm lazy. HAHAs. Let's see how my mood goes... Better or worst. Thursday, June 28, 2007
YEAH! Tomorrow is the last day of school. =] I will really really really buck up from this moment onwards. And I really meant it this time!! I've already finish my chinese TODAY. LOLs. When it's supposed to be hand up next Tuesday? See!! I meant what I said. =X Suddenly, there's an urge to study throughout the night. LOLs. Anyway, I will follow the revision plan, both Amath and Chemistry. =D I planning to go to library and study alone. =/ Will I be able to concentrate more this way? Hahas. Maybe sometimes it's good to be alone. Another good thing is that there's no school on Monday!! It's Youth day! BLEAHs. Finally, I felt like a teenage rather than a kid. =.= JIAYOU! 'O' level is coming soon!!!!!!!!! >.< P.S Congrats to ZHU for getting an As in his exams. Continue to jiayou~ =)) Wednesday, June 27, 2007
=.= Ohs! It's been quite long since I last post. Hahas. Well, wait no longer!! Here's the newest post. BLEAHs. I really wonder what's with the weather nowadays. It's just so humid and warm. Stupid weather... I'm feeling so damn warm. ARGH. The most unfortunate thing is that my fan broke down yesterday!! B-R-E-A-K D-O-W-N!! It's this call super unlucky or what? =.= AND AND AND!! I think I'm going to fail my Amath test. HAIX. I really don't understand what's wrong with me. Maybe I'm just not born to do math. Hahas. It's only been a few days since school reopen and we already have 3 tests? Plus tomorrow, it's 4 days. Basically, we have test almost EVERYDAY. =/ I'm damn stress. I really think I'm going mad soon~ O.O I hope to go out and get a breather. AH~ Sunday, June 24, 2007
Let's bid GOOD BYE to our holidays. =(( BOO HOO!! Time runs past me just like a leopard. LOLs. New expression!! I think it's better than "Time fly pass". =/ Hahas. Anyway, school starting tomorrow!! Can you believe it? =.= At least I managed to "finish" my homework. Hahas. Finish as in do what I know how to do. Those that I've racked my brains and I still can't think of the solutions, I just leave it blank. LOLs. Yesterday was the last time I will be able to enjoy myself. =/ Sad isn't it? But I'm glad that I managed to have fun yesterday with ZHU! =] We went over to East Coast as ZHU wanted to plan his class outing... So off we went and we reached Bedok MRT station. Took 410 and alighted at the bustop near the hawker centre. Now then I realised that I've went there before. HAHAs. Well, never mind. Anyway, after he finished eating his laksa, we walked all the way from the hawker centre back to Macdonald. LOLs. Keep bothering ZHU to rent a bicycle. In the end? Nahs.. HAHAs. Although it's tiring, but it's fun. BLEAHS. It's always been fun with ZHU. After East Coast, we went over to Changi Airport. I went to the Macdonald over there to do my homework. There's plenty of people doing their homework over there. HAHAs. ZHU bought a really BIG cup of Iced Lemon Tea. =.= ARGH. I still can't believe that I've to go to school tomorrow. I think I'm going crazy soon with all the upcoming stress. >.< Well, I guess it's time to head back to our books and start munching them. P.S I miss you every hours, every minutes, every seconds. Sound familiar? But it's true. =X Friday, June 22, 2007
Taken a test I seen from XINJIE's blog. Kinda true... =/ At this time you are really feeling quite exhausted by all the conflict and quarrelling that is going on about you and you are looking for some sort of protection from this state of affairs. Ideally you are seeking a peaceful condition and a tranquil environment in which you can be afforded the chance to relax and recover...... You dislike playing the field in every sense of the word. When you develop a relationship it needs to be a close fulfilling one, one that has deep meaning for all parties concerned. You are a dreamer and you seek perfection in any relationship that you may establish. Some of your ideas and standards are over the top so it may be a good idea to review your perception of life and accept people for what they are - not for what you would like them to be. You are feeling helpless. The fact that you are unable to control events that are going on around you is subjecting you to considerable stress. This can, if not relieved, cause muscle spasms or hypertension. It would seem that you are, for whatever the reason, being subjected to intolerable pressures. The complete environment would appear to be hostile. It would also seem that you are being driven against your will. You feel - and perhaps quite rightly so - that unreasonable demands are made of you but more to the point you feel as if you are powerless to control the situation or protect yourself in any way. At this time you feel utterly helpless. You seem to be always on the defensive and that is because you have failed to establish yourself in a manner consistent with your own high opinion of yourself. You are trying to prove yourself with inadequate resources and this has resulted in considerable stress. You are trying to escape from these excessive demands on your reserves by adopting a defensive attitude in which you refuse to be committed or to be involved in further unpleasantness. Guess ZHU still sleeping huh? LOLS. Sleep like a dead log... =.= Damn tired... I mean me, not him. HAHAS. I must JIAYOU~! JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU!! >.< I want to have good results. Please~ Can I? O.o Wee~ Been 2 days since I last post. Which also means I've "abstain" from my computer for two days. MIRACLE! LOLS. I shall continue this way when school reopen. I bet I will be able to stop having the craving of using computer by then. ^^V I've managed to finish my 2 book reports plus 5 exercise from the HMT assessment book today. YIPPEE! =] I think I will able to finish the whole 8 exercise. Hopefully I can finish by today so that I will be able to concentrate on my Emath. WAHAHAHAs... Well, I've finished 2 of the topics from the Emath TYS. Planning to finish it during this last two days before the school reopen. I should be able to finish it!! Hahas. I've not let down ZHU lehs~ He must be so proud of me. =D Went to National Library yesterday with ZHU to do my homework. My house is so damn noisy with the stupid constructing work going on.. Make me unable to do my homework. =.= Luckily, they've stopped the stupid drilling work today. If not, I think I will go deaf sooner or later. Back to the topic. LOLs. Spend about an hour? And off we went to have our dinner. Macdonald again... Hahas. Continue my homework over there before we set off to Suntec. It's been long since we've tour Carrefour. LOLs. So we went over there to have a look... Hmm.. Still the same. x)) After that, we went to Marina Square. The new Creatvie Mp3 is so damn nice! So cute... And it only costs $99. WOW!! Good bargain right? Too bad I don't have money. Hahas. ZHU say he will buy Ipod nano for me when he've the money. So good sia... LOLs. Well, I'm going to jiayou for my HMT later!!! >.< Wednesday, June 20, 2007
I'm in a super bad mood today. >:( Gotten back my result. BIG disappointment. =/ This is the first time I gotten such a STUPID results!!! I know ZHU is going to lecture at me again when he find out what kind of results I had gotten... HAIX. I know the reasons for my bad results and I don't feel like listening to people talking about it. I know all this, for goodness sake. =.= So, please people. Don't mention the word "result" to me. For now. I sweared to myself that I'm NOT going to slack anymore. I will prove to you that I can do it!! So, I won't be online-ing so often for now until after my 'O' level. Neither will I be going out so frequently too. I will try my best to pull up my stupid results, especially my maths to at least a A2. >.< I know that it's difficult but I'm going to persevere!!! Any suggestions on how to get good grades? I know that we have to keep practice and revise our work but the problem is how? Please tell me specifically can? I think my learning method is somehow wrong and I don't want to go wrong anymore. =/ Perhaps I really didn't put in enough effort? Thus, I don't deserve good grades right? Just wait. I will jump right from the bottom to the middle. LOLs. Not the top because I know there's surely no chance with those smart people in my classes. There's enough clever people to be the top10 in our class. So, I will be satisfied if I were to be the 11th person in the rank. HAHAs. Hard but I will try. CHIONG ARHS!!!!!!!!!!!! 'O' level is just a hurdle that we can surely jump over it if we try our best. I will not be defeated by my results!!!!!!! It's 12.37am now. I'm tired yet I'm still not sleeping. Contradicting huh? LOLs. I was hoping for someone to be here with me now... =/ I feel so lonely AND scary. All alone at home!!! =X How I wish that ZHU is here with me now, how I wish I'm now in his arms. Hahas. It's kinda cold now... Just imagine, how nice it's going to be if I'm able to cuddle into his arms. BLEAH. Sadly, that's not the case. Hahas. But anyway, doesn't matter!! I just talked with ZHU over the phone just now. Had quite a good laugh. ^^ That's enough for me yeah? We shouldn't ask for too much right? We shall take things slowly... As the phrase goes, " Let nature take its course". x)) I'm satisfied just to be able to message him everday, go out with him every Saturday and to be able to talk with him on the phone every night. That's really enough! =] At least he's there to accompany me when I'm feeling lonely. Hahas. Thank you ZHU! Thanks for calling me when I'm feeling lonely. Thanks alot. =D Just one message and you are right there with me. Such a great sister!! HAHAs. YUPS. I promised ZHU that I will go to sleep after I use my computer. I will keep my words!! So, off I go to my lala~land. Nights everyone~ Sweet dreams to ZHU!! Let's continue to jiayou for our Amath lesson tomorrow. =.= Tuesday, June 19, 2007
YUPS. I've finally managed to get some of the answers from him. =] I felt kinda relieved? LOLs. Should I be happy that you gave me an uncertain answer or should I be sad because till now you are still not sure of your feelings? Anyway, I will jiayou!! No matter how fast you run, I will chase you. ^^ Well, went over to XUEHUA house to stay overnight yesterday. One word to describe, CHAOTIC. I didn't know there's so many people going over to her house. And the problem is that I don't really know them well. Glad that QIU is with me. HAHAS. If not I'll will feel so left out... I'm so god damn pissed off by that XIANG. He's blacklisted! =X He's not only talkative, he's great at making people pissed off. ARGH. If he hadn't been so violent, I wouldn't have dislike him so much. =/ I told him to stop hitting me with that stupid pillow and he thinks I'm kidding. He thinks I'm so easy to be bully? NO. LOLs. I chased him out of the room. YEAH~~ ^^Three cheers for me. Wahahahahas. I'm not going to go out with him anymore. I don't want to be embarrassed by him. =.= Just came back from school. Taken a few class photos with 4/9~ Fun yeah? Hahas. I bet that the photos will be so damn nice! =] It's 5 more days counting down to school reopen. Yet, I've not finished my homework. I'm STRESS!!! Help me anyone? I'll be so glad if there's anyone who's willing to "help" me with my homework. BLEAH. ZHU!! ZHU JIE~! Hahas. x)) Remember to drink more water yeah? If not your lips will hurt again. =] Monday, June 18, 2007
Here I am, Alone at home In the lonely night. =/ I thought that, I'll be talking happily on phone with him now. But... Here I am, With nobody to accompany me In the slient night. Sunday, June 17, 2007
HE HATE ME. I SHALL ... Have you ever spare a thought for me? STOP. It's really enough. Too much for me to take it... You never tell me how you feel. Whether if you're angry with me or sad b'cos of something I did. You never tell me. You will just pretend that everything it's alright. Even though it's NOT. After every quarrel, I will tell you about what I think. Yet you? You just kept slient. You know, You are just like me in the past. Keeping slient no matter what. It has been raining for days which results in a very cold weather lately. =/ I wonder where did Mr Sun Ah Gong went too.. LOLs. But, I like the rain. Whenever it rain, I just feel that it's very peaceful. x)) It's as if the rain had washed away all my troubles. I want to be drench in the rain!!! =X It remind me of the past, when VYVON played in the rain. Hahas. It's been ages since we've last played together in the rain. I missed it.. Nowadays, we are so damn busy with our studies and our life that it's been long since we've go out together. ONLY the 4 of us. =/ When will there be a chance for us to get together? Hahas. My parents just went over to Genting with my little brother. I wanted to go with them... I wanted so much to go with them. But there's school on Tuesday and Wednesday. Yet, that's not the main reason. I guess people who know me will know what's the reason. Hahas. I really wish to sit down, let the rain pour onto me and forget about everything. Or, I get sick from being in the rain and die. That will be better. Rather than to be a nusiance to people. Right? I don't know what I've done wrong in the past. Perhaps I'm a cockroach in my past life. That's why I'm such a pest. =/ Friday, June 15, 2007
YUPS! I've just changed my blogskins again yesterday. CUTE right!!! But I'm more cute. Hees... Well, I don't really know about this character but I find it cute. ^^ Going out later with XUEHUA and QIU. I wonder where's XUEHUA going to bring us later.... O.o HAHAS. Hope it won't turn out like last time... So damn embarrassing!! =X Anyway, I didnt go to Chemistry lesson today. But still, I woke up at 7.15am to wake up ZHU. I've become an alarm clock to him. LOLS. And he's become an alarm clock to other people. =/ Well, he must be dead beat. Having to be in school for one whole day for both yesterday and today. And tomorrow he's going to treat me to my HAPPY MEAL! =D I think I'm not going over to find him so early tomorrow bahs... Let him have more sleep. Yeah, yeah... I know I'm good. LOLS.  Thursday, June 14, 2007
I wished I can see a meteor rain~ I wished I can touch a rainbow~ I wished I can own a star~ I wished I can be in the sky. Don't you all agree that, All the most beautiful things on earth, Are all up on the sky. How nice it will be, If we were to be up there. Right? =] Feel the wind, Touch the clouds, And be happy. That's my PARADISE.
YAWNS* I'm damn beat. LOL. XUEHUA just come back from her cruise. She talked non-stop about her trip which make it seem like it's so fun... I would love to try it. Hahas. =] It was a surprise when she message me this morning when I was getting ready to go school. And well, as usual, I'm going back school for Chemistry lessons. =/ I was shocked as she told me she will only be back by Friday. LOL. I met her coincidentally on the bus. Chatted alot with her and she showed me the sunset she saw on her boat. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL!!! =X After the lessons... I went over to her house. Again, we were chatting while she was online-ing. Hahas. After the chat, I've thought through alot of things. Though I'm still kinda confused, I have a better idea of how to deal with it. =/ I hope I will be able to do it. HAIX. I asked her about alot alot alot alot of things. ALL regarding boys. I asked; Why does guys suggested breakup to the girl without even batting an eyelid, without even bothering about how the girl will feel; Why are guys able to woo a girl with all his efforts and yet he can break up with the girl so easily just because of a little quarrel; How are they able to forget about the girl they once love so much so easily? WHY WHY WHY? =/ And her answer was: " If only I was a guy, I would knew all the answers to your questions." LOL. Lame right? =X Anyway, I think that's true. Guys don't know how girls feel and girls don't know what guys are thinking. AH~ It's so damn complicating yeah? Yet, people just love to throw themselve into the love river though they knew about the possible outcome in the end. I know, I know. I know!!! But it's just difficult. It's just damn tough!! It's easy for you to say it. BUT!!! It's hard to do it, you know? I wished there's such a thing called "time travel machine". A machine that allows me to get back into the past and... =/ Scientist!! Please please please... I begged you to invent that kinda machine. I wish, I wish... I wished to find a paradise of my own. Wednesday, June 13, 2007
HM ask me for a patch. It's like been so long since we break? =.= I don't know if he's just kidding around or it's for real. LOLs. I don't know why. I said that I've forgotten about him right? But nowadays, I'm still kinda bothered by how he feels, how he thinks etc... I guess I failed yeah? I guess it's really hard. It's going to be our 1 year annieversary. IF we were still together. I don't think anything special will happened on that day. I don't think there's any surprises for me either. HAHAs. It's still going to be just a normal Sunday for me and him. =/ 我想要爱 却看到他离开的刹那 你将爱情带走 留我一个分手的魔咒 叫我伤得彻底 不敢再妄想谁的温柔 看我的眼神闪躲 我知道你有话不能说 我该如何假装 心才不隐隐作痛 从前我们走过的地方 像是一幅幅美丽的画 曾经那些天真的梦想 是不是只能是童话 为什麽我们变成这样 拿着电话却说不出话 或许眼泪不让它流下 就好像不那麽悲伤 为什麽变得如此沉默 回忆我们最初的承诺 就让那些浪漫的所有 都消失成黑色天空 未来真的很长 最後我会再问一次你爱我吗 ?
I guess, if I still don't clear up my desk, I will never ever have the mood to study. =.= HAHAs. Anyway, I finally went to Chemistry today. She didn't scold me. Or should I say she don't even know that I wasn't here for 2 days because she don't know me? LOLS. Hmm... According to my observations, I think there's a few others who didn't even bother to go. And some of the other people went over to Miss Chow's class. =X LOLs. Heard from XINJIE that VP seem angry with them though she did told them that she don't really mind which class did they went to. =/ Well, I bet that she felt inferior compared to Miss Chow. Lols. Can't be blame. Miss Chow is really a NICE and hilarious teacher!! =] But it's a pity that she's only a relief teacher. >.< I wanted to go over to her class too... But by doing so, it's like telling VP that she's not a good teacher. =/ Her teaching method wasn't that bad... Yet if there's a comparison between Miss Chow and her, I will think that Miss Chow will be a better teacher. x)) SHE ROCKS! Ok...Due to my absent on Monday and Tuesday, I miss out that stupid topic, Electrolysis. =.= It's like my weakest topic? LOLS. Well, never mind. I will perserve!!! GAMPATEH EVERYONE! I will read up on my own. My greatest wish is that my L1R5 is below 15. Guess that's kinda hard to achieve if I were to keep slacking. Like now. That's the BIG BIG taboo any Secondary 4 students should have. =X I keep telling myself to work hard, do my homework and revise!! But, I just can't seem to concentrate. Anyone has any great ideas on how to study? TELL ME!!!! SHARE WITH ME!!! Don't be so selfish and keep it to yourself. LOLS. >.< Tuesday, June 12, 2007
STORY It was first day of the mid-year exams, therefore i finished school a little earlier, i called him, : Hey, i finished school earlier today, would you come by and pick me up? : Alright, give me 5 minutes. : 5 minutes? But my school is just beside your house. : I need to get ready. : Alright, make it fast then. 2pm in the afternoon, the sun is extremely hot, I stood under a shaded tree and fan myself. Although it doesn't make much of a difference, it was better that I fanned. 5 minutes have passed, he's still not shown up, I was a lil' unhappy while looking at my watch. 10 minutes and he's still not here....couldn't be that he was met with an accident? 15 minutes passed, he finally shown up. :Why are you so late? He wasn't even a lil' bothered : Nahz, was watching TV. : What?! TV?! Why don't you sleep, bathe and eat before you come down then? I haven't got anything else to say for that, didn't take the helmet he handed me but stood there and stared at him. :Sorry. This was the first time he said sorry to me... He is an egoistical person all along and has never once apologised to a girl. I looked at him, Alright, took the helmet and let him sent me home. He is always acting like this, no explanations, no friction, no quarrels. The only thing he does is to apologise. To me, somethings can't be settled with a sorry. I would never go on asking after everytime he apologises. He told me, that was the first time he said sorry to a girl. Although it take courage to admit mistakes, he never once correct his mistakes. Saying sorry became a word to shut me up instead. Tears flowed down my cheek on the 59th time he apologised. I dropped my head : you don't ever need to say sorry to me again. If you can never change, then don't let me keep giving you chances again and again hoping and believing that you would change each time. He held me lightly, and said the 60th sorry. Even then, he did not change, and there was no explanation whatsoever. I began to worry if there was something he was keeping from me. :What's wrong with you these few days? :Nothing. :Then why are you acting so strange? :I am not. :What can you say other than this answer? :Do you know I'm very worried, very insecure, do you treat me as your girlfriend? :I'm sorry... :I don't want to hear you say sorry again. I put down the phone and he did not call back. He doesn't even care about me. Maybe we should....break up. .....this was the 99th time he said sorry... From that day onwards, I never once called me or went to look for him. Sometimes I get an anonymous phonecall but everytime I said hello, it was dead, i think it's a call from him, but why don't he speak up? After one month have passed, I couldn't contain the feelings I still have for him anymore and went to his school to find him. I went outside his classroom and looked around, but there was no sign of him. :excuse me, is XOXO here today? :I'm afraid he already stopped schooling. :Huh? Why? When was that? :He hasn't been in school for a month already. :Oh erms...thanks. One month....not in school for one month.. why is that so? I stumbled home. Called his hp : Sorry the caller is currently unavailable, please leave your message after the tone.... I put down the phone, and called his house next, but there was no answer. How can it be? The whole family migrated? It seems as though he has already disappeared from the face on the earth leaving not even a single trace. I couldn't find him....just as I was feeling distraughted, the phone suddenly sounded, it was my friend. He was one of his brothers and also my good friend. :Hey, what have you been doing? XOXO is in hospital. :REALLY? WHAT HAPPENED? :Oh he is in ZZ hospital, the one you stayed in last time. :I'll be right there. I used the fastest speed my legs could carry and when I reached the hospital I saw that his parents were already there. I asked them for the room number and flew across the hall. He was lying on bed, looking at me, not saying a word, not moving a muscle, :Hey, what happened to you? Why didn't you contact me? He did not answer, and used the same stare on me again. :Come on answer me...why don't you speak? A tear flowed down the side of his eye, and it looked as though he used the greatest amount of strength that he could master to say... :I'm...sorry... After that, his eyes went shut. :Hey, don't fool around alright...why say sorry to me? :Don't say sorry to me....please wake up....answer me please. I wept and fell down on the side of his bed, pulling his shirt I cried out.. :Why do you have to apologise? Why don't you give me an explanation instead? :I won't forgive you, wake up, saying sorry is no use... :If you don't wake up I'll never ever forgive you in this lifetime, please I beg of you..open your eyes..... That was the 100th sorry. A group of medical staff, doctors, nurses pulled me away and tried to revive him. I had no strength to stand up... My mind was a blank.... My eyes could only see a sea of black. He did not leave this world... I merely lost the chance to touch him anymore. But he would appear in my dreams sometimes, telling me how he was doing. He's still accompaning me, still alive, in my heart. would still laugh at my silliness, and call me his darling.... just that... he never apologise to me anymore. After a month, his mom came to look for me, and gave me a box... inside was a 100 photographs, everyone had a story behind them.. The reasons why he made me angry. The first time, my dear, I did not purposely arrive late to pick you up. I know this excuse is really lame, but I didn't have the heart to tell you the truth then, before I stepped out of the house, I felt a pain in my chest, but I still made it a point to meet you, please forgive me? The second time, my dear, I... The third time, my dear, I... The 100th time, my dear, I didn't mean to leave you alone in this world, It had to be so because God did not give me the chance to say I Love You for this lifetime of mine, and to put the ring on your finger.... You are the first girl I apologised to. And also the first girl I want to be with for the rest of my life... Forgive me for not able to bring you happiness but I have thus become your angel, always looking out for you... Looking at you while you find your happiness. ..promise me...don't shed a tear... I don't want to see you weep like this for me, I Love You ~XOXO How can I not cry? What you said was just too impossible. The last photograph was of him in the hospital, Although he was skinny, the smile on his face was bright as ever. His face was white and yet he tried his best to give his last smile on the last photo, the 100th. At the time when he needed me the most, I wasn't with him. :I'm sorry. I held the photo tightly and cried for us..... Guess what? I overslept today~! And I didn't went for Chemistry. =.= LISTEN! It's not that I pon my Chemistry class. It is because I overslept! LOLs. Anyway, thanks to MEIYEN~!!! If not for her call, I don't think I'll be able to wake up in time to go for my Biology SPA. =] Great great thanks to her~!! The test was quite ok. HAHAs. The Bendict's and Biuret test. =D Easy peasy right 4/9? LOLs. Well, just for the last part of the question. =/ Hope I answer correctly. Now it's left XUEHUA and QIU and a few others who haven't taken the test. GOOD LUCK hors!! I'm sure your test will be as simple as the one we take today. Or maybe it's even simpler. x)) HOMEWORK! All the day I've been thinking about is my HOMEWORK! It has become my nightmare. =/ Lols. HAIX. When can I ever ever really enjoy my holiday? O.o Without having to worry about HOMEWORK and SUPPLEMENTARY? I know I know... Most of you will said that it's 'O' level for me this year and it's normal for us to keep going back for lessons. We will get to enjoy after our 'O' level. =.= I've like, heard it for so many times?!?!?! Look at the other Secondary 4 students in other school. ARGH. Just my luck lahs~! =X Hope I'll be able to wake up tomorrow. LOLs.
Suddenly realised that nowadays, I've been posting alot of posts just for 1 day. HAHAs. Too many rubbish to say, perhaps? Lols. 谢谢你的温柔 - S.H.E &飞轮海 S.H.E:谢谢你如此温柔 S.H.E:捧着爱情静静等候 S.H.E:我的双手 S.H.E:其实同样在颤抖 S.H.E:但我能给你什么 S.H.E:我只是一个他遗忘的我 S.H.E:心被一扫而空 S.H.E:我会把你种在我心中 S.H.E:也许某天会终于 S.H.E:再次长出一个梦 飞轮海:不知道 不明了 不想要 飞轮海:为什么 我的心 飞轮海:明明是想靠近 飞轮海:却孤单到黎明 飞轮海:不知道 不明了 不想要 飞轮海:为什么 我的心 飞轮海:那爱情的绮丽 飞轮海:总是在孤单里 飞轮海:再把我的最好的爱给你 S.H.E:谢谢你如此温柔 S.H.E:点着笑容的灯火 S.H.E:只温暖而不打扰我的寒冬 S.H.E:还没决定往哪走 S.H.E:才所以不能答应你陪我 S.H.E:怕你会变成我 S.H.E:我会把你种在我心中 S.H.E:也许某天会终于 S.H.E:再次长出一个梦 飞轮海:不知道 不明了 不想要 飞轮海:为什么 我的心 飞轮海:明明是想靠近 飞轮海:却孤单到黎明 飞轮海:不知道 不明了 不想要 飞轮海:为什么 我的心 飞轮海:那爱情的绮丽 飞轮海:总是在孤单里 飞轮海:再把我的最好的爱给你 飞轮海:不知道 不明了 不想要 飞轮海:为什么 我的心 飞轮海:明明是想靠近 飞轮海:却孤单到黎明 飞轮海:不知道 不明了 不想要 飞轮海:为什么 我的心 飞轮海:那爱情的绮丽 飞轮海:总是在孤单里 飞轮海:再把我的最好的爱给你 S.H.E:谢谢你如此温柔 S.H.E:点着笑容的灯火 S.H.E:只温暖而不打扰我的寒冬 S.H.E:还没决定往哪走 S.H.E:才所以不能答应你陪我 S.H.E:怕你会变成我 Nice song~!! =] Listen to it~ Monday, June 11, 2007
真的 - 张韶涵 我努力的仰着脸孔 试着眼泪不往下流 别往下流 不安的感觉到什么 在我生活中不再相同 很不相同 想要说 却还沉默 伸出手 无法触碰 天空突然一片辽阔 原来你是真的已经离开我 在我不熟悉的世界过新的生活 闭上眼让泪水滑落 此刻你已真的永远离开我 在另外一个没有我的世界 自由的走 MY HOMEWORK - 2 English essays. 1 HMT assessment book. 2 HMT book reports. Emath TYS. That's alot. To me. =/ ZHU! Help me do my homework lahs~ LOLs. Since you don't want accompany me to WWW. BLEAH. >.< You arhs.... Last time still say will accomapny me go where as long as I want. ZHU TOU! Lols. I HATE doing homework. This holiday is just so-not holiday for me. Instead of going to school for ony 2 weeks, like what teachers had told us, we have to go back to school for the entire holidays. WTF right? Adults just love lying to us. =.= Can't they just keep their promises?!?!?! Is it so difficult? And the most fed up thing is that I go back to school for just a pathetic 1 and a half hour. From 8am to 9.30am. STUPID~!! Anyway, I pon my Chemistry class today, even though VICE PRINCIPAL was the one conducting the lesson. HAHAs. SHUANG. =X Though I didn't really have anything to do at home. BUT BUT BUT!! I get to sleep MORE. That's good enough for me. I would rather slack at home than to go back school for just one stupid lesson. School just love to torture us with their so "organised" timetable. =.= Can't they just arrange properly instead of having so many last minute decisions? Well, I just DON'T want to waste my time there. XINJIE this morning then tell me that she's going for Chemistry. I'm like, still sleeping? =.= But in any case, I didn't go. YEAH~ But!! I'm going tomorrow. Cos' there's Biolody SPA tomorrow too.Wish me luck~! =]I think I'll be going to find ZHU after that. Hmmm.. Not sure. Perhaps by the time I reached there, he's still sleeping~! Hahas. =X Dumped? How to deal By Caitlin Ascolese Whether it's been two minutes, two days, or two years since you've been unceremoniously dumped by the so-called love of your life, one thing is certain: It sure isn't easy to forget and move on. Will you ever stop feeling those painful twinges when you hear his or her name in passing or stumble across an old photo from when you two were together? Well, in an effort to heal your wounds, we surveyed lovelorn folks who found themselves suddenly single, about what helped them through the tough times. Here are seven real-life tactics that helped heal some broken hearts. Tactic #1: Court Your CareerWhat It Is: Post-dumpage, you're going to find yourself with a lot of time—time that's often spent getting misty over the past and brooding over what went wrong. Of course, you could also dedicate that time to another person who'd be happy to have it: Your boss. Work keeps you feeling busy and important, and it doesn't hurt that the added praise and success will boost an ego that's been battered by a breakup. Tactic #2: Focus on the NegativeWhat It Is: No matter what happened between you and your ex, you can spend a lot of time thinking about giving things another (ill-advised) shot. So whether it's an old-fashioned pro-and-con list that you read when you want to ask your ex out again or a print-out of a blistering email you were sent during a fight, seeing the pain in black and white can keep you from going back to a bad situation. Tactic #3: Make Out and Move OnWhat It Is: Ask your friends what you should do to get over an ex-boyfriend and you're likely to hear, “You've got to go out and meet a new guy!” (If you're a male seeking advice, it's something more like, “Let's go drinking and get you some ACTION!”) But simplistic as it sounds, getting back on the market ASAP has helped dozens of single people recover from a bad breakup. A new date won't ever replace your ex—and you wouldn't want to, after all, since that relationship didn't work! But diving into the dating pool can make you feel attractive to the opposite sex again, give you new things to think about, and — ideally — eventually land you a new partner. Tactic #4: Shush YourselfWhat It Is: When your heart is bruised, it's cathartic to complain about it to your friends, whose very job it is to pump you back up. But this chatty habit can become a hindrance if it keeps you from moving on—often, just talking about your ex is a way of feeling some emotional connection to the person, even if that feeling is a negative one. If you think you're guilty of too much talking about your past love, put an embargo on this kind of moping: You can keep a rubber band around your wrist and snap it every time you're about to bring your ex up. Or train yourself to see a mental stop sign when you're about to stroll down memory lane, or ask your friends to not indulge you in nostalgia talk. Tactic #5: Pump Yourself UpWhat It Is: Turning your rage into fuel for a workout is better for your body than eating Häagen-Dazs, and better for your criminal record than slashing your ex's tires when you see his or her car parked outside a new date's place. The plusses are plenty: Going to the gym fills the time you would otherwise spend sulking at home, exercise releases chemicals that will actually help you feel less depressed, and you'll boost your confidence because you'll find yourself looking hot to trot. Tactic #6: Go All NaturalWhat It Is: No matter how this-is-the-end-of-my-life-as-I-know-it your single-hood might feel at first, spending a bit of time outdoors — whether it's a regular hour-long walk or a week-long destination retreat — can help you put things back in perspective. It's hard to feel hopeless when you're admiring natural beauty, and standing next to the ocean/a lake/a mountain reminds you that there are bigger things out there than that last fight about your laundry habits. Plus, being alone with your thoughts makes you focus on you as a person, ridding you of the temptation to relive your past as part of a not-going-anywhere couple. In nature, your body tends to reach a more peaceful, stress-free state—and ideally, your mind will follow. Tactic #7: Trash ItWhat It Is: Getting rid of old reminders of your ex can seem heartbreaking—like if you throw away that shirt your ex left in your closet, you also risk throwing away all the good memories. But hoarding too many souvenirs can just keep you tied to the bad feelings you have, and trashing them tells you that it's okay to start forgetting and forge ahead with your life. It's taken from msn website. HAIX. It's easy to say but it's hard to do it. Forgetting a person is really difficult. Sometimes, I find that I'm really useless and foolish. I know that whatever I do, it's no use. Yet, I'm still being so naive. Harbouring hope that we might be together again. =/ I guess I really can't do without him. Life without him is really not the same. How did we become like this? I don't remember. Or should I say, I don't know. Some couples who love each other alot were forced to break with each other because of their family. Yet in our case, it's totally different. I really hope to start afresh. I want to start anew. There's hell loads of things that's buried in my heart. Many things are being left unspoken. I know that no matter what I say, he just won't understand. He won't know what I'm trying to say. I will only make things worst. HAIX. I'm confused~!!!!! Just what are we now? Who am I to you? I'm no longer in your heart anymore? Do you understand how I feel? In any case, I will try my best to suppress my feelings. Just give me a few more months and I guess I will be able to forget. He will be my best friend no matter what. I'm sure he will be able find his own happiness soon. As for me, I think it's kinda hard. Hahas Sunday, June 10, 2007
Yesterday. I almost make him angry again. Today. I almost make him angry again. Can somebody just tell me, what should I do? I'm really in a dilemma. I've already tried my best to make him happy. Yet things just don't turn out the way I wanted it to be. Although things always end up fine after I've make him angry. BUT. I really hate to make him upset. Why am I always making him angry? One word, I'm useless. Am I that irritating? Am I that detestable? I know, He don't appreciate the things that I've done. Or should I say, He thinks that I didn't do anything. I olny knew about this yesterday. HAIX. I know I don't have to do all this. But I hate to lose him. AS A FRIEND. Hope I won't make him unhappy again. If he do not want to see me ever again, I'm fine. I just hope that he will be happy. I really don't understand why things turn out this way. ZHU! I'm really sorry really sorry if I ever ever did make you angry. Make you sad. Make you irritated. Make you feel that I'm irritating. Make you upset. Make you troubled. EVERYTHING. I'M SORRY~!! =X Please don't be angry with me again. =/ Please tell me what you are thinking can? I really really don't wish to lose you this best friend. =X SORRY~!!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes, I really do not understand. I do not undestand what are you thinking. I do not understand what am I to you? Most importantly, I do not understand why do I still let myself be led by you? I obeyed you, did the things that you asked me to do. I still give in to you in everything. Even though you don't appreciate it at all. You just think that I've did nothing. To you, I'm just nothing. I'm NOTHING to you. I know that in your heart, I'm just a pathetic bitch who just can't do without you. A girl who can you can always vent your anger on. A girl who you can always turn. I know that even if there's really one day when I'm not around anymore, you won't be sad too. I'm not important to you. I'm really tired. Tired of everything. I know I don't have to bear with all this. I know you won't appreciate all the things that I do too. I know you won't be touched by what I do either. You will only think that I'm just trying to be pitiful. RIGHT? If... I'm really that irritating to you, you can always just tell me. I can disappear and not appear in front of you anymore. From now on. You won't even have to bear with me anymore. I don't know why it always seem that I'm the one at fault. WHY? It seems like the situation had change. You've become the old me and I've become the old you. The old me: always getting angry. Always being so stubborn and don't admit that I'm in the wrong. The old you: always letting me, giving me whateve I want. Always bear with all my nonsense and anger. NEVER get angry with me. You know, it's really tiring to be in love. But, it's more tiring to love someone. I vowed to the sky, I will never ever be like how I am now. I would rather have people loving me, Even though I don't love him, Than for me to love someone. It's ok if your love for that person is being reciprocated. Yet, It's not ok if your love for that person is being taken for granted. RIGHT? Thursday, June 07, 2007
SHENG SHIONG TRIP LOL. It's a fun and tiring day. I went over to Sheng Shiong Supermarket with MEIYAN, CHONGYING and XUEHUA to buy the things needed for the BBQ. It's the first time I ever ever buy so much drinks at a time. We bought around 8 bottles of those kinda 1.5 ml de softdrink. And one is those packet packet de... That alone was enough to make us DIE. O.o 4/9 really love drinking water. Hahas. Anyway, the susage and hotdog was really damn expensive! We spent almost $74 on the things. =/ The money from the class was not even enough lohs... In the end, MEIYAN had to fork out her own money. >.< We were really short of MANpower. Hahas. Imagine us walking to Sheng Shiong from our school... And then walk back to MEIYAN's house again from Sheng Shiong. I guess that's appoximately is 2.4km. LOLs. But that's not the main point. I don't mind walking. But with the heavy things that we bought from SHENG SHIONG? OMG. But I guess the stuff that I'm carrying is just small case compared to the stuff that CHONGYING and MEIYAN are carrying. Remember the amount of drinks that we buy? They were the ones carrying. =/ HEAVY! I remember we were there trying to convince ourself that the stuff we are carrying are not heavy! NOT heavy at all. HAHAs. FINALLY we reached MEIYAN's house. I only feel the tiredness after placing the things at her house. My hand was sore! Damn sore. Red patches. Hahas. My leg was sore from walking too. =/ If XUEHUA and I didn't go to help them, I guess they will have an even hard time. The minute I think about tomorrow, I feel SIAN. From 8am all the way until 9pm!! One whole day. ARGH. ZHU still don't know he coming not.. =/ SOBs. I bet my leg will be definitely sore by tomorrow. I HATE wearing high heels. >.< Sore on top of sore. Translate it into chinese and you will know what I mean. Hahas. =] Wednesday, June 06, 2007
FINALLY. I feel so releaxed! I managed to finish my 18 essays! Amazingly, I did it within 4 hours. LOLs. The not-so-amazing thing is that I copied them from WEIYANG. In conclusion, I didn't complete it on MY own. =X Hahas. Well, at least I bother to copy them in order to complete my work. Hahas. Not much people turn up for the lesson today. Guess it's because they didn't finished their work OR they think that since it's the last lesson for the holidays, they might as well don't come.... Mr Tan won't be seeing us when school reopen either as he's going to reservist. LOLs. They've got the great mindset arhs? x)) But anyway, Mr Tan never fails to make our lesson more interesting. LOLs. Just when I was about to fall asleep, his jokes always make me stay awake. I can managed to perk up almost immediately. ^^ There's a concert for the preforming arts group this Friday at Nanyang Girls School. Ridiculous arhs? I've to went all the way there just to perform. =.= And it's at night. OMFG. Plus, I got lesson on Friday in the morning!! I'll be so damn tired man. =/ I even have to bring my clothes over there to change. If not, I think I'll be damn smelly by the time I performed. HAHAs. MY BAG IS GOING TO BE SO HEAVY~! Don't think ZHU will come to my school to accompany me go home bahs... =/ LOLs. ZHU good lahs~ Tomorrow his last paper le... NO MORE STRESS FOR HIM. =.= Well, good luck to him!! I'm sure he will get the grades that he had been wishing for, GPA 4 . Lols. I'm so looking forward to the movie marathon. I want to eat POPCORN~! x)) Tuesday, June 05, 2007
I just came back from BUGIS!! LOL. Accompany XUEHUA there to meet those IRC people. Not those kinda PERVERT or TICKO... =/ There's girls over there too. It's kinda like a gathering. LOLs. I'm not really familiar with those people, neither is XUEHUA. But I'm glad that most of them took the initiative to talk to us. HAHAs. They're quite friendly. x)) Well, I've NOT touched any of my 18 essays. =.= XUEHUA and I planned to use the 4 hours tomorrow to finish it. Though I'm not confident of finishing ALL. Lols. BALL WENT TO MALAYSIA LE!! JUST NOW!! AT 6PM! I miss her.. =/ Hahas. Joking... That means she not going for the class BBQ. I don't think I'm going either. Luckily I've not paid my money. HAHAS. I went to take a test that I just saw on XINJIE's blog. Quite interesting. Hahas. Some part of it is accurate while the others, NOT. =X MY drawing~  Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You are shy and reserved. If you've drawn a cross on each of windows, you always want to live alone. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. Your life is always full of changes. You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You have a strong personality and you like to command, influence and control people. You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself. Monday, June 04, 2007
FINALLY, after I've listened to what he said, after I've cried my heart out, I've sorted out my thoughts. =] I've decided not to be such an idiot anymore. I've decided not to torture myself anymore. I've decided not to make things diffcult for him anymore. I've decided not to let my friends worry anymore. I've decided not to be so naive anymore. I've decided to GIVE UP~! I've decided to LET GO~! I've decided to be happy again~! I've decided to be carefree again~! I proudly announced that I've LET GO! I've finally realised that being single is good too. Actually, it's really not that diffcult to put everything behind you. =] REALLY. Once you've put your determination to something, you can really achieved it! So, I'm going to spend all my time on my studies. =D Though I'm not sure if I'll be as hardworking as before. =/ Hahas. WE ARE STILL THE BEST OF THE BEST-EST FRIENDS! THE ZHU MEI AND ZHU DA GE~ LOLS. x)) OII! ZHU DA GE! Please motivate me to study. Hahas. FORCE ME! ^^ SORRY. A big big SORRY to XINJIE. =X Sorry for the misunderstanding~ =X SIAN-ED. =.= There's still Chemistry lesson next week. WHOLE of next week. =/ From Monday to Friday. It really spoils my mood. I'm planning not to go. =X HOW I WISHED THAT I HOPE I DON'T HAVE TO GO. ARGH. Even if I've to go, I'll be going to find ZHU after my supplementary. HAHAs. I'm going to make him accompany me to have breakfast everday. WAHAHAHAHAHAS... WEIRD! I've been having headache since yesteday. Those panadols that I've taken doesn't seem to take effect on me. =/ Is there any weird weird things in my brain? =X Hope not... Hahas. I think I'm scaring myself. LOLS. Apart from the headache, I'm having an ulcer in my mouth. SOBS. PAIN ARHS~ Indeed, misfortune do come in a pair. =.= Saturday, June 02, 2007
Some friends are just SO-NOT your true friends. In front of you, they can bad mouth those people until like they hate them so much. Yet, they can be SOOOO good with those person behind your back. Is like, they are so duper hypocrite? =/ I HATE those kinda people. SHE was the one who don't like ***** in the first place! Since when did SHE became SOOO good with *****? =.= I still remember that SHE hate to go out with *****. STUPID LAHS! I damn fcuking angry. >.< I just feel kinda being betrayed? ......... I just think that SHE do all this just to get in to the good books of everyone. Just to have MORE people loving HER. Just so that she will get hell loads of presents during her birthday. Tell you what, I'm NOT going to buy you any presents. Don't even HOPE. Really... I've got nothing to say about her. SHE so damn #$%^#@!@#$%&^#%!@!@$%">#$%^#@!@#$%&^#%!@!@$% !!!!!! From now on, I won't even TRUST her. I won't even treat her as a TRUE friend. Had an enjoyable day with XUEHUA and BALL. We definitely laughed our ass out in the middle of Orchard. LOLs. Anyway, fun walking for so long just to find a Macdonald. Hahas. =] And thank for the ice-cream, BALL!! So nice of you... Lols. The ice-cream that XUEHUA took us to eat was damn delicious! *.* I loved it. Hahas. Furthermore, it's fat-free ! Good news to girls~ =)) Though it cost $3.20 for small cup. I think it's worth it. =D Well, hope that BALL won't go to Genting. It's not going to be fun without you. Hahas. Especially for the 4/9 BBQ. YOU MUST GO!! Only then will ME, MEIYEN, WEIYANG and maybe XUEHUA can really enjoyed ourselve! ^^I guess, if you are not going, I'm not going either. It's pointless. =X Friday, June 01, 2007
记得爱 - 阿沁 天空不断下着无声的雪 而我只有思念 勉强能温暖黑夜 拥抱离我已经千山万水 每 个男人都有说不出的心碎 oh yeah~ 我还爱着一个人 但愿回到美好的从前 也许痛的感觉 证明了爱的深浅 不然为什么我还不撤退 oh～ 记得爱所有幸福的片段 所以才一直忘记要离开 伸出手继续勇敢付出 我的爱原地不动的等待 就算风把我的头发吹乱 记得爱是我给过的答案 就不再考虑应该不应该 一滴泪落进无边无际的大海 至少我们都活得没有遗憾 只要记得爱就无所谓孤单 Though this song talking about guys, I just feel that it said out how I feel. =] LOls. Yesterday went to the PC show with XUEHUA and QIU. I was almost squash to death. Being short is just SO-NOT good. =.= All the people around me just care about all the discounts and didn't even bother to watch their steps. TYPICAL SINGAPOREANS. But I must admit that there's really alot of good bargains. All the CUTE laptop... I'm just so tempted to buy. Yet the sad thing is that I've no money!! Anybody want to sponser me? LOLS. My leg was aching from all that "shopping". Lols. Kinda accompany XUEHUA's cousin to buy things. Yet after walking for so long, she didn't even bought a SINGLE thing. Hahas. I've not touched my Emath homework since scholl holidays started. = / I want to study! HARD HARD! But there's no MOTIVATION. Hahas. =X I know if ZHU see this he is going to nag me again. I know and I do agree with ZHU that I'm not trying hard enough. HAIX. I know, I know, I know. Yet I'm not doing anything. Funny? =/ I even almost make him angry because of this. ARGH. I hate myself. ZHU TOU! >.< Just now online also didn't talk to me. Must be busily playing games. Exams are near worx.. Don't spend too much time on computer. Hahas. I know I'm naggy... I know you know all this.. But this is just to REMIND you. BLEAH. And, and and!! Take care of your health. Don't fall sick hors! |
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But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay |
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