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Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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Chun.YuI felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming? — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
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Chia MinGuo Ting HuiPing Ling Quan Sandy Sook Fui YunHui
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Monday, July 30, 2007
WAHAHAHAHAHAs. Prelims is over!! =] A few of us decided to head downtown to have our celebrations(Benjamin's birthday and to celebrate that we had finished our prelims) . Had some funny incident there. We were there competing which table ate the most. I guess my table(Me, xh, mx, alan and sq) won. All thanks to the boys~ HAHAs. If I'm not wrong we ate almost 70 plus plates? =X But to summarise the whole celebrations, we went to eat Suki sushi. We were damn bloated. AND, xh and me were damn broke. LOLS. Anyway, it was really fun. =] I want to go and shop till I drop one of these days. Maybe next Thursday since we don't have to go to school? Hahas. Don't know ZHU will accompany me not... YOU STILL OWN ME SOMETHING. Bleah. I won't forget... ^^ Hope my Amath paper goes well today. =X Bless me!!! Sunday, July 29, 2007
I hope for a new beginning. A whole new me, A whole new life. =] But I guess must wait until next year. HAHAS. AH! I'm going to prove that I can do it. Although it's been 4 months and I still can't forget about what had happen, I will set my mind on it and STOP thinking about it. =] I want to buy CLOTHES, SHOES and BAGS. LOLs. I want to go shopping. >.< You know, I really hope what you said is true. Friday, July 27, 2007
I've enough of it. I'm tired of aruging with you. No matter how much I tired, you will just find faults with me. No matter what I said, you will just shoot me back. WHY. What the heck did I do wrongly? I don't deserve this kinda treatment. No. FRIENDS are not suppose to be like this. FRIENDS shouldn't argue with each other because of some small matters. Have you ever find anything wrong with your attitude towards me? Have you ever find that you are always being harsh to me nowadays? Have you ever think if it's your fault too? Or rather, You've always think that I'm the only one who's at fault. I'm the one who's always been trying to find fault with you. I'm always the one who started the quarrel. If you don't treat me as your friend, then just tell me. OK? PATHETIC me. My Favourite day of the week: FRIDAY!! Hahas. YEAH~ Finally it's the end of the week again. PHEW. Left with 2 more papers : Amath paper 2 and English paper 1. AH~! GOD. Please help me with my Amath. >.< Oh well, I went to Bugis this afternoon. Xinjie actually want to go with us but... Hahas. Anyway, never mind. Feeling tired, cold and hungry, Xuehua and I went travelling to Bugis to eat Pastamania. HAHAs. We are really so BORED. I want to buy my bag!! But then the shop isn't open so... ARGH. Xinjie ask me out tomorrow to buy present. It's like so rare? It's been sometime since she actually ask me out. LOLs. Oh ya~ I've just change my blogskin!! I love it. Wahahahahahas... Thursday, July 26, 2007
不能说的秘密 冷咖啡离开了杯垫 我忍住的情绪在很后面 拼命想挽回的从前 在我脸上依旧清晰可见 最美的不是下雨天 是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐 oh 回忆的画面 在荡着秋千 梦开始不甜 你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远 或许命运的签只让我们遇见 只让我们相恋这一季的秋天 飘落后才发现这幸福的碎片 要我怎么捡 ARGH. Anyone know how to cure insomia? I'm like not been sleeping well this few days. AND AND AND. I'm so god damn tired during day but I just couldn't sleep at night. My appetite this days aren't that good either. =/ Till now, I've only ate one meal at 3 plus and I'm still not hungry!! What the heck is wrong with me. =.= Hope it's not becuase I'm stress..? O.o PLEASE. I still want to have my GOOD grades. But, to have GOOD grades, I've to have enough rest!! 3 more papers to go and I'm free. For the moment. HAHAs. Anyway, I'm having my prelim now. Time really fly pass very soon. Next Monday will be our last paper. JIAYOU! =] For once, I think I'm not going out this Saturday. Hahas. ZHU ask me to stay at home and study and well, I guess I should too. =] But anyway, I don't care. Once after my prelims, ZHU must accompany me go SHOPPING!! I want to buy bags and clothes. Wahahahahahas... Oh ya... I don't care who the heck is that passer-by. Hope YOU don't shoot your mouth off again at my tagboard. If not, don't blame me for taking actions. Whatever I say is none of YOUR business and I don't need YOU to comment about it. So, please keep your NICE comments to yourself. THANK YOU for your cooperation. Friday, July 20, 2007
Guys only like pretty girls? O.o YUPS. It's Friday again. =.= But it's special. Today is Racial Harmony Day! =] And I'm kinda forced to wear traditional costume. LOLs. But anyway, it's fun today. Took damn lotsa photos with my friends, teachers and of course, 4/9. x)) It was rather relaxing today until Geography lesson. Had a mind twisting lesson with Mr Tan. Hahas. I think I'm going out tomorrow with xuehua. Don't know if ZHU going... O.o Am I bad to ask him to accompany me so that I won't be left out by them? =/ HAIX. I'm just don't have the habit to say NO to people. ARGH. Prelims starting next week!! >.< I'm more worry about my math paper. Can I pass my math? I will kampateh de!! Hope my efforts won't let me down. =/ I think I muswt really practice alot of questions on Sunday. ARGH. I must not just read and memorise the formula again!!!!! Good luck to 4/9! Hope we will be able to obtain good grade for it and go for the one and a half month course of JC together. Hahas. JIAYOU!! Suddenly, I feel that I'm going to miss my Sec4 life when I've graduated. I realised that there's really alot of memories to be kept. =] Especially the memories that I had with 4/9 and definitely not forgetting the VYVON!! ^^ I will miss the days when we played in the rain like nothing. Hahas. I will miss the days when 4/9 kept on taking pictures. Wednesday, July 18, 2007
HEADACHE. =.= I'm like going to die today. Headache was so painful just now... On top of my sore throat, I felt soooo worse. =.= I can feel that my fever is coming back soon. Or should I say I'm feeling kinda hot now. HAHAs. HOT. Anyway, there's plenty of Geography essays for me to finish. I just don't know how to do!?!?! He didn't even go through the mindmap of Argiculture and expect us to know how to do? =/ FUNNY. Guess Zhu sleeping? Or he's playing games? Don't know... LOLs. I've got alot alot alot alot of things to tell him. I want to find him to talk. But he's tired and his card is out of money. =/ Well, I guess I've to find another time to tell him all about it. Hahas. AH! Prelims coming~~ First paper is Amath! =X I should just cross my fingers and hope I can pass it. Since Mrs Tan said it's an ok paper, I guess she expect us to do really well in it. Hahas. ZHU! If I make you angry, I'm sorry. =X Don't angry ok? Must tell me if you not happy with anything hors.. If not, I really don't know what to do. =X Monday, July 16, 2007
I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. ARGH. HAHAS. I guess I am going crazy. 4 post in just a day. =/ 再见我的爱 GOOD BYE. I really had enough... I'm so scared that I can no longer endure it anymore. I don't know why I'm just so emotional nowadays. But... Do you understand? Will you help me? Will you understand how I feel? Will you help to pull me out of it? I so stressed from my studies, family and everybody around me. I WANNA GET OUT OF THIS STUPID MESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA BE THE OLD ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE HOW I AM NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Will you help me? Sometimes... I just feel so helpless. It's as if nobody is willing to help me. Does he dislike me? Nowdays... He's like ... Haix. I've really got nothing to say. I just don't understand. If he really hate me to contact him, just tell me. I won't. Perhaps I'm really irritating? What else can I expect? He's the one who woo me first. Now, he's giving me cold shoulder. GOD. What had I done? What had I done to deserve this kinda treatment? WHAT!! Can you just tell me???? You know... Guys just don't put themselves in women's shoes and think. They just do whatever they want. Once they got what they want, they will just start to get tired of everything. In the past before you become their girlfriends, no matter how much you message them or they message you, they won't mind it at all. NOW? They will just find it irritating if you keep bothering them, messaging them... =.= WHAT THE HELL DOES THE GUYS WANT? Do they get their happiness from making us upset??? Just when I can't do without you, just when you got what you wanted, just when you make me feel that you are the one, you leave. Perhaps GOD is just making a fool of me, huh? Sometimes, I really wonder. If I had not agreed, what would things be like now? Will we still be as good friends as ever rather than now? If I didn't agree, will you still be like before? Will you still perserve? HAIX. How I hope that love is really like a flu. I wish I can get well quickly from it. Now then I realise that, it's not good to be TOO serious in a relationship. You will be hurt even more. =/ Wednesday, July 11, 2007
HEY HEY HEY! I just realised something. Today is 7-11 birthday!! 11th July. LOLs. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! =)) FINALLY! I get to take a breather. LOLs. This few days I've been rushing to do my homework until I've got no time to rest. Let alone "touch" the computer. Hahas. But miracally, I managed to finish my 6 Geography essay just now so I get to use the computer now~ =X Have you ever had all your teachers absent from school? LOLs. I've got!! ^^ It was this Monday whereby all of a sudden, all teachers suddenly disappear into "thin air". I've got 6 Amath periods but then, she didn't come so we end up doing worksheets. But I guess you should all know that we were all chit chatting and playing. LOLs. I don't know if I should be glad and happy to miss out our lessons or should I start to worry. Hahas. HMMM... I'm damn stress! One more week to Prelims!! =X P.S I guess, there's someone else in his heart now.. Anyway, I'm sure she's better than me 100 times. Even if I'm just thinking too much, I'm glad for him no matter what.=] 我想依赖却你都不在 应该开心的地带 你给的全是空白 终于看开爱回不来 告别从前的爱 Sunday, July 08, 2007
Woo~ Third post of the day. Hahas. I guess I really got nothing better to do. =X I suddenly have an urge to go kbox!! I suddenly have an urge to go ZOO!! I suddenly have an urge NOT TO go school!! Hahas. My parents might be going Malaysia again. =/ Not sure about my mum if she's tagging along with my dad. But of course, it will be the BEST if she goes. Cos' that will mean I'll be able to go out as and when I wish!! =X I know it's only around 2 more weeks before our prelims... ARGH. Sometime, I really want to beat up the person who initiated to let people to study. =.= But then, it will be nice if we don't have to take any exams. Just go to school, study and get to know new friends! That will be the best! But that's only another wishful thinking of mine. =X I wonder how it does it feels like to walk around in the middle of the night alone? I would like to try it someday... Hahas. PHEW. I just come back from "picking durian" again. LOLS. FUN!! =X ZHU accompany me to study again yesterday. But actually... I didn't study at all. Hahas. Instead, we went over to Changi Airport to see aeroplanes. =] Perhaps you will think it's silly to go to such a far place to see aeroplanes. HAHAS. But it's fun you know? Especially when the person you going out with is ZHU! BLEAH. But we were really fed up when we were going home. Think about it. Your feets are sore from walking around (We walk from Suntec to Marina back to Suntec and back to Marina for like, 4 times???? =.=) and just when you thought you can go home in the bus 960 yet you see the bustop being close due to the NDP parade?!?! And the next nearest bustop is like... So far away?!?!? =.= Maybe we were really unlucky huh? In the end, we went to take a MRT home and still... We were made to stand on our sore feets. ARGH. You will get even angrier when you saw some kiasu Singaporeans trying to get onto the train as fast as they could so they push you. >.< Maybe that's why my mood wasn't that good. =/ ZHU thought I angry when I'm not... Hahas. Sorry!! =X We kinda had some misunderstanding... =X We were really bickering and making fun with each other only. We were not quarreling~!! At least that's what I thought it was. =/ Maybe I should change the way I argue with him? Or rather, I don't talk back with him? Hope we had cleared it out. =X Sorry if you think that we were quarreling. ZHU! You are my best best friend. I treat you as my jie mei le~ Hahas. ^^ I didn't realise what a big fool I was in the past. Dwelling over things that had happened ages ago and not letting them go... Making myself crying over nothing. Since he had already put everything behind him, why am I stil lnot doing so? He just treats me purely as a FRIEND!!!!!!F-R-I-E-N-D!! To think that I've mention I will only treat him as a friend for so many times.. Yet I'm still here, zhi zou duo qing. =/ I even miss all those beautiful things around me just because of the fact that I'm so stubborn and not willing to move on... ARGH!! I'm such a disgrace to women. =/ Stuck in the past is just bringing hurt to both me and him. HAIX. But no! I will not dwell on the past. Not anymore. I'm going to be a strong women! I can live without guys. I don't need them to be the meaning in my life. I'm going to be a brand new me!!! I hereby declared that from now on, he is just a FRIEND to me. Wondering why did I suddenly awake from my dream? HAHAS. All because of the words he said to me. I must stop being a stick in the mud. I'll never forget the hurt that he had given me. The wound in my heart will never be heal. It's really "wound on top of wound".( Translate it into chinese and you'll get what I mean. =] ) So anyway, I thought he's the medicine that can heal the previous wound I had in the past. But it turn out that the medicine had already expired. End up I get hurt again and the wound gets even bigger as a result . =.= I'm not blaming him. Just blame myself for not treasuring him. HAIX. Yet, it's too late to regret now. But still, he did gave me happiness which I don't think I will forget in this lifetime. I must really thank him for leaving so many wonderful memories, both good and bad. But then, I can't really blame him for what had happened as I'm partly at fault too. I didn't treasure him. But I'm still glad that he's still willing to treat me as a friend. Lols. Perhaps sometimes, I might think of the memories that he had gave me. I might still miss those wonderful and sweet things that he had done for me. But, it's normal for people to think of the past occasionally as long as we don't cling onto it. Right? Hui wei guo qu~~ Lols. You are still my bestest friend. Ok? =] The guy who had once pledged his love for me is dead. He's no longer in my heart. Now, the one here is just my zhi zi. Ok? A friend who I can confide my things with him. P.S I know I've said this alot of times. I'm determined to carry on with my life without having to think of how to win him back. All that is left is just memories. No feelings or what-so-ever. My heart is DEAD. Friday, July 06, 2007
As I was taking a bus home from school today, I saw an elderly couple. I think they are about 70s to 80s years old. But the main point was... They were so sweet~!!!!! =X Hahas. It's kinda abnormal isn't it? To see elderly couple dating and holding hands with each other. Perhaps this only applies to me, cos' I seldom see elderly couple being so sweet with each other. =] But then, I suddenly remember that there was another couple that I would see them every morning when I go to school. They were Malay, about 40 plus. Every day without fail, they would hold hand together and went pass my house downstairs. If I'm not wrong, they are going to work together. SWEET!!! XUEHUA and I were filled with envy when we saw how sweet they were!! Hahas. I guess it's really hard to find a person to be together forever. They are really lucky to have found a partner who's willing to spend the rest of the entire lifetime with them. Will I be as lucky as them? O.o I don't know. Hahas. Once, I thought it's possible but then... =X Oh well, it's ok to be lonely for the rest of my life. I guess?? Well, anyway, I got back my Amath Integration test yesterday!!! I thought I would do badly as Mrs Tan said that there was a number of people who failed. But guess what!!! I pass!!! =] I'm so happy~~ Hahas. But for the Chemistry Organic Chemistry today, I don't have much confidence. =/ AH!! I did prepare!! Hope I won't fail... =X Thursday, July 05, 2007
Guess what's the question that everyone will ask when they saw each other in my school recently? Answer: Are you going for the prom night? LOLS. Yeah... That's the topic we've been discussing. But the prom is still like, 5 months away? It's on 23 November. And we haven't even start our prelims! Hahas. I guess that's teenagers... Prom night is a big big big affair for all of us. Perhaps it's because it is a symbol which shows that we had all grown up. From the childish and naive Sec One till now, the mature Sec 4. But I guess some of us are still stuck at the Sec One stage huh? Hahas. No offence. I think the girls are the ones who are more particular about this prom night. It's because it's the night where we had to doll ourselve up which I think normally, not alot of us will do that. But nevertheless, it's all part of the prom night!!! Plus, our theme for the prom night is BlackTie. Which means that we had to dress VERY formally. Gosh.. I guess that means I've to wear those heels? LOLs. Oh well, it's still long before the prom night is here. And I've still have not decide if I'm going. =X Hmm... I just found out that all those famous bloggers are real beauty. HAHAS. And I mean really BEAUTIFUL! =/ From what I think, they do have what it takes to be the famous blogger. But then, it might be due partly to the fact that they are pretty. Being ugly is not bad but being pretty does make a differrent. PLUS... Nowadays, most of the people just care more about looks than the so-called inner beauty. People are just too busy to even bother to know a person's inner beauty. =.= That's bad huh? Know the newest drama on Channel 8 at 9pm? If I'm not wrong the show's name is "Lucky Star". Even though Xin Yu is born ugly, she never ever even look down on herself! And she's forever so happy-go-lucky. I remember that she once said that she doesn't want to be born ugly either. And I totally agree with it. Who doesn't want to be born pretty? Right? I guess, the most important thing a person should do is to try to look more presentable. And when I say presentable, it's not as though I'm asking you to put on those makeups or whatsoever. What I'm saying is... Just wear some that's clean, which make you look like a fresh and tidy person. To make people accept you, you will have to accept yourselve first. Not to mention if you despise yourself, then others will defintely despise you too. Start looking confident!!! =] P.S I'm not trying to criticise anyone here. Just trying to say out my opinion. You can disagree or object to it. But listen, it's just my OPINION. Nothing much about for you to make a big fuss out of it. =.= Wednesday, July 04, 2007
My hand was aching from the exercise I had yesterday. PAIN. >.< WAHS! My urge of going on a shopping spree is here again. =/ HOW HOW HOW!!! I want to shop yet I've got no money... SOBS. I want to buy those pretty pretty new clothes~ I want to buy those pretty pretty bags~ I want to buy those pretty pretty shoes!!! =X ARGH. Another busy day. I guess I'm going to flunk my Amath test again. LOLS. I just went crazy with XINJIE and XUEHUA at the plaza just now. BLEAH. It's been ages since we last had fun together. Hahas. AND! My wallet got another hole again from buying things. Lols. But, I must say that the shop that XINJIE recommend to us was great~! It would be even better that the servings were bigger. LOLS. Oh ya... I've not tell you the name of the shop. It's the Naked Fish Express at the Bukit Panjang Plaza level 1. =] NICE!! Die die must try huh... Haix... You know what? I really miss those days. The days when we were so in love with each other, the days when you used to fetch me back home from my school, the days when we used to sit at the void deck and chatted till it's time to go home, the days when we spend our time idling in my room, the days when we used to go out together as a couple and not as friends. I truly felt bless at the time. How did it go wrong? Perhaps it's because you've changed ever since you went on to ITE. Perhaps it's because of my bad temper. Perhaps it's time to end our happiness. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps... I still don't know why we've become like this. The talk I had with XUEHUA just now just make me realised how much I miss those days. How much I miss your love. I guess, heaven really love making spot of humans. HAIX. Just when I love you so much, you had to say those words. Have you ever considered about how I will feel when you've decided that you wanted to leave me. Have you? Sometimes, I just don't understand. Monday, July 02, 2007
PHEW. Just bought a new fan back from Bukit Panjang Plaza. I guess those who knows me well will have an idea what had happen to my fan. LOLs. It's bad enough for the weather to be so damn hot. It's even worse to survive without my fan during this hot weather. =/ LOLS. ZHU accompany me to library today again. I almost went berserk trying to figure out my Amath. =.= So I'm sorry to ZHU for being so quiet at the library just now... Sorry if I've make you upset. =X Tomorrow another day at school.. For me, it's until 5pm. =.= TIRED! But I won't say concede defeat so easily. ^^V SHIT. I just realised that I've got an English summary to finish. =X I totally forget about it!!! GOOD LUCK TO ME! AND EVERYONE ELSE. =] P.S I wanna pinch you!!! LOLs. Sunday, July 01, 2007
I've gone on 2 adventurous trips, yesterday and today. YESTERDAY I went over to Changi Airport to revise my Organic Chemistry with ZHU!! Kinda silly but I must really really recommend this place to all of you. It's a good studying environment. Imagine me, a student who hates to study, being able to sit at the Macdonald and finish my Chemistry TYS. Perhaps it's under the influence of those hardworking people who's studying at the Macdonald. Hahas. The most miracle things is that, I'm not doing the TYS because it's my homework. It's because I've to revise Organice Chemistry as there will be a test next week. NERVOUS!! Hope I can do well... Really hope my effort won't go down the drain. =X Before going over to Changi, I accompany ZHU to take the bus to East Coast again. It's super warm... =.= I feel like I'm an ice-cream melting away in the sun, I feel like I'm a chicken being roasted in the oven, I feel like I'm in a desert. But anyway, that's not the main point. LOLS. The main point is when we were walking to Marina Square from his house. The trip is just too exciting for me. I almost had a heart attack. All ZHU's fault. Keep scaring me... We were walking along the dark lanes with those kinda creepy creepy trees lining beside it. And he just go, "BOO!"out of a sudden and my heart almost popped out of my mouth. Hahas. Yet I must admit that it's fun. I remember I thought a worm dropped onto his head. O.o But, he's just scaring my again. =.= He just love to make fun of me. >.< TODAY I went hiking with my family. FUN but exhausting. Lols. We also went to 'pick' durians. Ok... It's just for fun. Hahas. It's been long since we all go out together. =X I managed to finish my Amath homework but didn't revise my other Amath topics. =/ I guess I will do some questions later from my TYS. Hahas. Tomorrow, I'll be going to finish my English Summary AND do questions from my Emath TYS. =] This is only the first step to my success!! I must keep persevering. Can't stop!!! =] JIAYOU to all of you too~! P.S Ulcer! I hate you. Why must you keep coming back to find me? I don't love you!!! >.< Why must you always appear when I don't need you? Or should I say I don't need you at all? ARGH. Just get out of my life!!! P.S.S I'm just grieving here. Uttering rubbish. Don't have to pay any attention. HAHAs. |
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But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay |
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